The thought of clarifying surrogacy and why you decided to turn into a surrogate mother to your child is overpowering. Most surrogate moms are more concerned about telling their children versus explaining it to their employers.

The excellent news is explaining surrogacy to your child is far easier than you anticipated. Why? Children are more malleable than we assume. They don’t have pre-set ideas about what is expected, right, or wrong. This means you can elicit a positive reaction from them based on how you present the idea. If you explain the concept of using appropriate aging language, your big decision will be understood well.

Although the word choice and depth of explanation will vary according to your child’s age, consider the following tips on how to explain surrogacy to your child provided by surrogate parenting services

YOUNG CHILDREN
When explaining surrogacy to a young child, you don’t have to explain the biological aspects. You can state, “This isn’t our baby. It’s (names of the intended parent) baby!” Most children will accept this as a fact and not question it much. Some children may ask how the baby arrived in your stomach. You can state, “The doctor put it there.”

The most challenging part of explaining surrogacy to a young child is that they’re excited about a potential sister or brother. Making them understand that it’s not their sibling is a big struggle.

SCHOOL AGE
Children at this age are inquisitive and filled with questions. So be prepared to answer a few! One likely question you’ll face is if the baby in your tummy isn’t their brother or sister, how did it get there? Children of this age are still too young to understand the complexities of surrogacy and IVF. They will understand the baby will not come home with you after birth.

Be prepared for large emotional responses to your big reveal. Children of this age often have big emotions. Stay calm and focused. Be open to answering all the questions that they will throw at you throughout the day.

PRE-TEENS & TEENAGERS
At this stage of development, your child is focused inward. When you explain your decision to become a surrogate, they will first examine how it will impact their lives. Teenagers have a basic grasp of sexual education matters. They will likely comprehend the basics of IVF quite easily. So when you explain that the baby is not related and won’t be coming home with you, they will understand.

Teenagers are developing their mindset at this stage and will have their own vie surrounding surrogacy. Their views will likely differ from yours. It’s essential to be patient and approach their concerns and questions with respect. At this age, they might also display a bit of aloofness. Although this might be difficult for you, keep in mind that this is what happens during this development phase. If your child throws curve balls at you in terms of questions, get in touch with a surrogate parenting services provider.